Back from the dead, yet again

Hey chickadees!
I just wanted to let you guys know that I have a tumblr full of randomz and I think you might stay interested if you follow me. I can't promise to update daily, but I can promise I've been on tumblr more than blogger.
If you're interested; http://www.tumblr.com/blog/xdeidannax

Emilie Autumn in Columbus! Demand it!

http://eventful.com/demand/emilie-autumn-/D0-001-002324295-0?utm_source=email&utm_medium=share&utm_campaign=tell_friends_dconfirm

Oh please my dearest readers, demand this! Even if you don't know who she is or don't care if she comes to Columbus. Do it for me! It would be a dream come true to be able to go see her ♥

I suppose I should write a journal

Today was day 8 in junior year.
Junior year isn't all that it's cracked up to be.
What happened to the promises of sophomore year being the hardest? I didn't have AP in sophomore year. My life was a breeze last year.
But, enough complaining.

I'm going to Chrissy's tomorrow and possibly spending the weekend. At this rate, it'll be school, Shayne's, Chrissy's [in that order] all year :) I'm perfectly okay with that ^-^


So, about month ago, I entered a poetry contest to get points for my TWLOHA Fancorps. Maybe 2 weeks ago, a little bit less, I got a letter in the mail stating that I made it to semi-finals. I didn't even think I had a chance! Fingers crossed that I win something :)


So, how is everyone?

TWLOHA

I support To Write Love On Her Arms [TWLOHA] on fancorps.com, and one of my orders is to promote that they have a twitter. So, here I am promoting :) Be sure to check them out

Day 30-Your reflection in the mirror

Dear Me in the mirror,
I see your hair is brown again. Not quite as dark as you like it, but then again you'd rather it be red. Your face is blemished, your nose red. That red is that sunburn you got. Your nose just looks like you've been crying, but your chest is so red you sometimes think it's kinda purple. Your stomach's also quite burnt. Your thighs aren't as bad as they were. You've got more freckles than you usually do- Too much sun. Your eyes aren't bad. Sometimes they're dull and bored, but most of the time they're bright and clear. They're never the same color they were the day before, or at least not that I can recall. Your nose looks okay, at least until someone takes a picture of your profile. Then it looks like a little tomato. My teeth I'll never be happy with. I've gotten used to them, but I'm not happy about them. I'll be getting braces soon. I'm really dreading it because I think braces look horrible and painful, but I know I need them.
Sometimes I think you're beautiful. You stun me with your own kind of beauty. You're nothing to put in a magazine, but you're pretty to those who can see it.
Other times I think you're plain and don't even bother to wonder why only one man wants you.
Your stomach is too chubby
Your thighs just a little too jiggly
Your boobs just quite not big enough [I mean, they have a lot to make up for]
You don't even look that great in corsets
Why can't you be tall and slim, just like you always wanted to be?!
But I digress.
Sometimes I'll love you, sometimes I'll hate you, but in the end I can't change you.
Love,
Yourself

Day 29-The person you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to.

Dear Mum,
I'd like to tell you that I want birth control and why it would be smart for me to have it, but you would SKIN ME ALIVE AND DO OTHER TORTUROUS THINGS TO ME O.O
I want to tell you how much I've started to HATE Alberto recently because he's being a prissy little asshole, but if you didn't slap me then I'd be grounded. Yelling would a given.
I want to tell you what's wrong with this family- Oh, there's so much!- but you'd deny it and get pissed off. You get pissed when I tell you an ounce of truth. You need to stop living in your little fantasy world. Alberto's fueling your fantasy, which only makes you fall deeper in it. I don't even think you can distinguish the reality of why our family can't get along from your fantasy of how it's all my fault. Hell, it's not even Naomi's fault anymore. Both you and Alberto believe it's purely my fault, that I start it all.
Anything you don't agree with has to be wrong, doesn't it? I hope I'm more fair to my children.
Sincerely,
Desiree

Day 28-Someone that changed your life

Dear everyone I know,
Everyone I know has changed/shaped my life in some way.
The way I act
The clothes I buy
What music I listen to
What I do with my free time
I'm not saying you guys have shaped every aspect of my life, but you guys have helped. You guys recommend music, books, movies, animes, manga, anything I may like, you hang out with me, I'm nice to those I like, bitch polite to those I don't, you compliment me, you criticize me, and you keep me sane. You love me, you hate me, you have neutral feelings about me.
You have made me who I am today.
Thank you,
Dei

Day 27-The friendliest person you knew only for a day

Dear ..........
I don't talk to people for only a day.....
No, wait, famous people.

Dear Vic Mignogna,
A lot of successful people let that success go to their heads. But, you; You're a sweetie! Well, at least to your fans' faces. But I'm sure you're actually a sweetie. You just don't seem like you're not :)
I'm so glad I got to meet you. You're my favorite voice actor. You really won that cause you're the voice actor for like every male character in any anime that FUNimation has made XP
I know you're popular. I know your voice is versatile. But damn o.o
I keed, you're awesome :)
Sincerely,
Dei




PS: I only met him once. Therefore I knew him for a day. But technically I've known OF him for a while and saw him at 2 different cons.... I didn't have any better ideas :P

Day 26-The last person you made a pinky promise to

You know, I don't really make pinky promises. I make promises without pinkies though.

Dear Shayne,
I swear we do too much together. You've had half of these letters written to you XD
I promised you I'd always love you. And I always will. Even if we happen to break up, some part of me will still love you. You're not the first person I've loved, but in a way you're my first love. You're the first serious relationship I've had.
I promise to love you forever. I promise to live with you, to be there when you wake up in the morning, there when you go to bed at night.
I love you,
Dei

Day 25-The person you know who is going through the worst of times

Dear everyone,
At some time or another, our families suck. They add to our problems, but you know what, they also take some away. They yell at us for no reason, are unfair, don't get you what you want, or just plain take away your fun.
At some time or another, our friends suck. Or really our peers in general. They gossip, fake, make you feel like shit, or make you feel left out.
At some time or another, our lives in general suck. They're the reason you cry, you're miserable, you wish you were dead or never born at all.
Keep your head up. Even if your family truly sucks and are abusive crackhead whores, they're still family. You only have to put up with them until you're 18. People are going to gossip. Kill them with kindness. Don't let them get to you, I doubt they'll be there forever. Life has it's downs, but focus on the ups. If you focus on every negative detail, you're going to be miserable. Enjoy life. Tomorrow's a new day and today will never be here again.
You could die at any moment; Will you be happy with how you lived if you do?
Sincerely,
Dei

Day 24-The person who gave you your favorite memory

Dear my friends,
You've given me so many memories. I can't even list them all.
Shayne- Every day I have with you gives me a favorite memory. You say and do so many cute cheesy things. You make me believe that nice guys still exist- You're definitely one of them ♥ I look forward to you giving me more favorite memories in the years to come.
Chrissy- Oh my gods, I love hanging out with you! I can tell you anything! You're my best friend and that's never going to change ♥
[There's way, way too many more people to be specific]
Every one of you is a reason to live. You guys are there when I need you-to talk to, to laugh with, to cry on. I love you all.
Love,
Dei

Day 23-The last person you kissed

Dear Shayne,
You've gotten a lot of letters these last 22 days.
I remember the first time we kissed. Well, you kissed me. That kiss isn't the one I really count as our first. I mean, of course it was, but it was one sided. Our first kiss was walking home from the park, me sending out hints that I wanted you to kiss me and you just not getting them. Our first kiss was me storming off and you catching my arm and pulling me back. Our first kiss was secret, not supposed to happen.
Btw, you're the best kisser I've kissed ♥
Love,
Dei

Day 22-Someone you want to give a 2nd chance to

Dear Alanna,
I'm not going to go into detail on the situation that just passed for your privacy. But I'm giving you another chance cause after all that happened I seriously thought about us taking a break. So far things seem to be going pretty great :)
You already know everything I just said so this letter is kinda pointless. Oh well.
Love,
Dei

Day 21-Someone you judged by their first impression

Dear Shayne,
Your first impression wasn't that....great. I'd heard from the group [mainly Chrissy] that you had been after Bre for years [what our group calls a stalker but doesn't really mean it], so I wrote you off. Corey said we'd get along, but after hearing that you were a creeper for Bre, I didn't want to "get along" with you [because he was so obviously thinking of setting us up]. Although, I was a bit interested to meet you. I met you when me, Chrissy, and Mark went to visit Chris back when him and Chrissy started dating. Corey dragged you out of the house because Mark wanted to see you and you were silent, sarcastic, and not too nice. Again, you were written off. I quickly forgot you and only heard about you from Chrissy or Chris about how much Chris hated you. All I ever heard was the bad things you did and I thought you to be mean and rude.
We hung out, all as a group, when I was dating Kyle. Then, I just thought you to be very weird because you kept bringing out your weapons to show off to me. I think that day you offered to give me a piggyback ride but I declined and you gave one to Chris instead.
Wait, didn't we hang out before that? Yes, we did! Corey called me over cause Chris could play the beginning to Nightmare on drums and he [and everyone] knows how much I love A7X :heart: And we played with the shopping cart but I wouldn't let anyone but Corey or Naomi push me cause I was afraid you would go to fast and make me crash. XD
I'm glad your first impression was wrong. I've never personally seen a relationship start out as unlikely as ours. [Although we weren't supposed to date]
I love you,
Dei

Day 20-The one who broke your heart the hardest

I've already written to you. You really didn't break my heart though. If you had broke it, there'd still be a piece of me that knew you mattered. You don't. I guess I'm just fortunate for not having my heart broken.

Day 19-Someone who pesters your mind [good or bad]

Dear Shayne,
You never leave my mind. Everything I do, you're there. Not in that stalkerish kind of way though :) We fight, we kiss, we cuddle, we make love. We're far from perfect, but we're perfect for each other.
Love always,
Desiree

Day 18- The person you wish you could be

Dear me,
I wish you were skinnier. I wish you had bigger boobs. I wish your teeth were perfect. I wish your skin was smooth. I wish you had the face shape that actually looks good. I wish that you didn't get hurt so easily. I wish that you had the means to do what you want to do. I wish that you could pursue your dream of being a house wife [But the economy will never let you do that.] I wish you could draw better. I wish you didn't have to use bases. I wish you could cook better. I wish you knew how to play video games. I wish you could easily make friends instead of being so awkward. I wish college didn't cost so much. I wish you could drive with ease. I wish you spent more time with Ava. I wish you could play an instrument. More so, I wish you could sing. I wish you had a voice that people would actually want to listen to. I wish you weren't so moody. I wish you didn't get so jealous. I wish your hair would turn out the way you wanted it to. I wish you had more things to do with your time. I wish that you had every book, manga, anime, tv show at your reach. I wish your cosplays were better. I wish you didn't have to get a job to have money. I wish people wouldn't say shit about your religion. Or things you liked. Or your dreams. I wish you could live in your fairytale. I wish, for at least a day, you could have everything you wanted. I wish you could have your lolita dresses. I wish all of these things were possible. I know that some probably are, but they're so hard to achieve.
Sincerely,
Yourself

Day 17-Someone from your childhood

Dear Laura,
Do you remember playing Harry Potter on the playground in first grade? You were ALWAYS Harry. I think I commented once that your hair was more of Draco's color and you got mad at me. Now look who you're dressed as for the premiere XD
Do you remember the day when I wore my mom's globe earrings to school and they were heavy so I took them out and lost one and you found it for me?
Do you remember that every Friday when we did whatever it was we did with the fun station thingies, I'd always pick you to be my partner?
Do you remember how when you started third grade your hair was green from swimming all summer? XD That was GREAT!
Do you remember when you read....I think it was Marley&Me and you got all emotional cause you loved your dogs and I sat there trying to comfort you like "WTF DO I DO!!! D:"
Or when we went to that park and caught those bugs and a spider got out and me, Annie Lake-Osbourne, and that student teacher I think she was, went running out of that room?
How about you, me, and Erica trying to plan out when we would see each other again [ie, what schools we were going to go to.] I gave you and her a friendship necklace, and now I don't think any of us knows where ours are.
Seventh grade our English teacher never let us work together because she knew we were best friends. That was completely unfair D:
Eight grade however, our English teacher had the damnedest time trying to keep me, you, and Funsize split up XD
You gave me a lot of my childhood. I love you. Thank you for being my friend all these years. This November we will have known each other for a decade o.o
We're nearly out of school now. I have a feeling it's going to be harder than ever to keep in touch. We're just going to have to make time for each other.
Reminiscing this evening has been enjoyable :) Have fun at the Harry Potter premiere! I still don't know who's a bigger fan :P ♥
Love foreverrr,
Dei

Day 16- Someone that's not in your state

Dear Lewis,
I wrote to you last time. You're my favorite out-of-state person! :D
I love going to cons with you. We should so do Colossalcon again!
I also love going to concerts with you.
More like, I love it when you take me places :)
I'm sorry I don't text you. I just get more easily annoyed over text. Me and you are better in person. But that's okay, you have Shayne to text now :)
Love,
Desiree

Day 15-The person you miss the most

Dear Mamaw,
I miss you the most because I will never be able to talk to you again. But I've already written a letter for you. So, please refer to Day 11.
Love,
Desiree

Day 14-Someone you've drifted away from

Dear everyone who was my friend before I moved,
I've drifted away from you. You've drifted away from me. I'm sure you want a sorry, but I'm sorry but you won't get one for that. We've all changed. So much. I feel as if I don't know most of you anymore, but you don't know me either. We banded together when we were all depressed, needing someone to talk us out of suicide and promise to be there for us. Friendships can't just work like that, they need other things too. They need happy things to talk about. They need to be support for everyday things. We weren't stable enough to support each other the way we needed to.
So, I'm sorry we aren't close anymore.
Dei

Day 13-Someone you wish could forgive you

Dear.........
You know, I don't know who to write to.
Everything I've done that I regret, please forgive me for it. Sometimes my mind gets stuck on whatever I regret that I've done recently, and I wince and I cringe, but there's no way to take it back. I really need to learn to let go of things, but it's hard.
So, yeah. Forgive me. Karma should smile on you if you do. I'm not saying it will cause no one controls Karma, I'm just saying you'd be doing a good thing so hopefully you'd be repaid for it :)
Sincerely,
Dei

Day 12- The person who caused me a lot of pain

It could be either the person who caused me a lot of pain or the person I hate the most, but I'm not much for pain.


Dear Dad,
You made my early childhood happy, but then you taught me how to fear. You taught me to fear raised hands, yelling, and anything of that sort. I couldn't step out of line, although I often did. Nothing big. I was a pretty normal child, but I didn't argue with you and mum as much as a normal child would have. You were worse to Naomi, but somehow she has more than forgiven you for all of that. By using her as an example, you taught me to keep quiet, stay inconspicuous, and to get you a drink whenever you told me to. I remember once she was crying and screaming because I wouldn't let her get her way, and you were asleep [which is what you did all day every day. Up all night and sleep most of the day.], and I told her to stop crying or you'd be very angry, and you came out of your room and beat her and screamed at both of us. You weren't always a terrible father, but your misdeeds overshadowed your niceness. I guess I should be thankful that you didn't hit us harder, hurt us worse, or sexually abuse us. I feel as if anytime I tell anyone how you were to us other people are like "Oh, that's nothing, my family is worse. At least they didn't do ____" like just because their parents were worse that means that I didn't have it bad. Everyone that says stuff like that to me doesn't have as much of a visible effect -.- But, whatever.
I love you, and I'm sorry I don't spend that much time with you. But, I can't forgive you for the past. Not when, just by how you act, I know that if we were younger and you weren't dating Anne you would still act the same as you did. You think you've changed so much, but you really haven't. You still sit around instead of getting out and doing stuff, still spend way too much on stuff you don't need when you have a tight budget, still are too moody, too angry, too ready to argue. You still throw things when you're mad, storm out of the house, yell and scream, and think that the world isn't giving you enough pity. I hope you change before Ava gets older, because I never want her to have to deal with what I had to. But I know that's not possible, so I'll be there for her. Anytime, day or night, if you're yelling and screaming and it doesn't involve her and she doesn't need to hear it, all she will have to do is call me and I will pick her up.

Day 11- A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Dear Mamaw,
Oh, I knew this day was coming. But I had thought I would be writing this late at night, or at least alone. Mum is sitting on the couch with Alberto, and although they are dozing, crying wouldn't go that unnoticed for long...
Mamaw, I miss you. So, so much. I don't think there's a day that passes that I don't think of you. It's been almost a year since that dreadful day when I lost you forever. I remember it so vividly. The grogginess of being called at 6 in the morning, the slap that woke me up when Dad said you were gone then corrected himself and said you were dying. Running downstairs where Mum and Alberto had just got home from their paper route and were eating breakfast, not even able to get the words out before I just broke down crying. Mum hugging me and telling me she would take me to the hospital. Her waking Naomi, hurriedly getting dressed, picking out something nice for you, no black whatsoever, for you. That's the first time more than just my immediate family saw my pentagram. In my rush, I had forgotten to take it off. I'm glad I didn't- It helped me feel not so alone. You know, I don't think my eyes were dry the entire time I was at the hospital. Everyone else was so calm, but I was falling apart. Sissy and I really bonded that day. She was my shoulder to cry on for the small amount of time that I saw her. That day was the first time I hugged Anne. I had wanted to since I decided I liked her, but I always felt too awkward to. I remember they told me that you said Ava would be a girl. I remember telling Mum that I didn't care if the baby was a girl or boy, I just wanted you. You weren't gone at that point, but all hope was lost. You were in a coma, left alive for everyone to say their goodbyes.
I remember getting lost on the way home due to construction [We had gotten lost on the way to the hospital due to construction too.] Mum picked us up some McDonald's hash browns and got me Starbucks. As soon as I got home, I went up to my bed with a roll of toilet paper and collapsed. I fell asleep around 10, crying, drinking, and feeling so lost.
I woke up at noon, maybe it was 1, and went downstairs and got on the computer. Dad called, and I knew immediately what it was about. He told me they took you off of life support and you passed at 12:34. Such a perfect time. I wonder if they did that on purpose. 12:34 pm July 30, a part of my life ended.
I wish you could be here now. I want you to see Ava, to love her as you loved us. I want you to be at my wedding. I want you to be there for my children. I want you to teach me how to cook as well as you did. I want your recipes. Mamaw Dillon's just aren't as good as yours. I want Shayne to meet you, for him to know why you're so important to me. He stood by me as I cried at your grave the other day. They surprised me by taking me. I had barely any warning. Mamaw, Papaw, and Papaw Kirk, and Naomi were there. That was the last thing I needed. It was bad enough having Dad and Shayne there. I'm going to go back on the 30th and put a bouquet of flowers on there, just for you. I don't know if they'll be real or fake, but fake will probably be better. Your grave is going to have so many flowers from all of us that we won't even see your headstone. Your grave is already one of the most decorated graves in the cemetery.
I'll see you again in the afterlife. I love you.
Love,
Desiree

Day 10- Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

Dear Brandi,
Yes, we talk. But not too often. And it's not just because you have a set number of texts per month you can use on me, but because we don't really have anything to talk about. I can't tell you all of my secrets because I'm afraid of what you'd say or that it would be awkward.
But, I love you. You're a really awesome person and I can't imagine our group without you :) I hope you're having fun being 16 now and driving around and being valedictorian. Oops, I forgot, we don't know for certain yet ;) I have faith in you, you're gonna win it :D You can do anything you put your mind to ♥
Love,
Dei

Day 9-Someone you wish you could meet

Dear Emilie Autumn,
You inspire me. You inspire me to act and dress how I feel. Victorian is beautiful, but it isn't popular. I've always loved corsets and now I have one. A real lace-up corset *-* My mum taught me that red hair was ugly. My step mom dyes her hair Vampire Red [Manic Panic] and she's beautiful. Your red hair is stunning. My red hair made me look like Ariel lol :heart: [Although I must admit that finding out half the time you're wearing a wig was a little saddening] I'd never considered rats to be anything special- I'd been taught they were disgusting. Your photo shoots with rats are cute, which led me to actually think about my view of rats, which made me look them up online, which made me see how adorable they are :heart: Rats are more common a pet than I had thought. They're intelligent and sweet, unlike mice, which I had thought were cuter.
Your songs make me feel at peace, make me happy, go with my mood when I'm sad or distraught. Your voice is amazing, able to hit both high and low notes. Your lyrics are indescribable, making sense with phrases that don't belong, sugar-coating the bitter truths of society.
I'd love to meet you, to tell you how awesome I think you are. To get a hug from you, or a kiss on the cheek :) [You're the only star I know of that does that. I think it's cute :)]
I'm very curious about if you're actually somehow related to Alice Liddell. My boyfriend says it's highly unlikely, but then again, he seems to try to disprove any fantasy I may have. If you really are related to her, I love you all the more. I love Alice in Wonderland. I call it that instead of Alice's Adventures Under Ground cause to be honest, I've only seen movie adaptations ^^;
I'm rambling, I know. Forgive me. If I really were to meet you, I wouldn't be able to say anything at all. I'll get it all out now, on the computer's substitute for paper, hoping that you'll never read it.
Love,
Dei

Day 8-Your Favorite Internet Friend

You know, I don't really have friends that I don't know in real life.


Dear Souma,
We don't really talk too often, and we don't talk about anything important, but I talk to you more than anyone else I haven't met. You're pretty cool. Unfortunately, you're misunderstood by those around you. You know, we don't live too far from each other, why are the people so different? O.o
One day I will meet you and we will be friends. Do not be offended that I will use the buddy system. I want you to turn out to actually be a teenage guy, not some 40 year old perv o.o
Sincerely,
Dei

Day 7- Your Ex

Dear Mark,
You know, we only technically dated for what, a day? We were never meant to be. I was too lost in our friendship and how much I liked you to see that though. You like attention, but I needed more than you gave. You said you weren't ready for a relationship, but I was. You said you were bi, but....well you haven't dated any girls since me [that I know of] XD
I wish we were still close. I didn't get a chance to talk to you at the fireworks. I'm sorry I was such a bitch in the one sentence I said, I was in a really bad mood due to something that happened before we left. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. But I'll get to apologize in person and talk to you on Saturday :) You better come to Brandi's party, she's making no-bakes! [Hers are THE BEST!]
Sincerely,
Dei
P.S. GIVE ME MY CLOTHES BACK I'M SERIOUSLY GETTING REALLY PISSED ABOUT THEM.



Dear Kyle,
I think we dated for 2 days lol. And at least we kissed. But, I dropped you for Mark. I'm sorry. But, we wouldn't have worked out anyway. We never had much to talk about and we didn't have an emotional connection [or really a connection at all.] We hung out today with Shayne, Corey, and Chris, and you seemed fine with it. I'm glad, that means we'll still be able to be friends. I mean, we've been talking online, but we haven't hung out since like right after we broke up.
Sincerely,
Dei



Dear Pyronecromancing,
Yes, your screen name is what I'll call you. Do you know how bad you messed me up? Not too bad, thank goodness, but bad enough. I loved you, or at least thought I did. You led me on, told me you loved me, said all these sweet things to me, then left me without even saying goodbye. Then, I find out from your sister months later that you hadn't been faithful since you moved. I'm glad you just randomly disappeared from the internet- You saved me from myself. I was ready to run away with you and leave my family behind, but I didn't. You were a pot head, a pill popper, a chain smoker, and loved your alcohol. I'll never date anyone like you ever again. I wish you could see me now, the one girl you didn't fuck up and knock up. I'm so above you now, and you're only going to sink further :)
Fuck you,
Dei :)

Day 6- A stranger

Dear Stranger,
I'm sorry, but I will judge you. I'm not going to let myself be open to someone who seems like a bitch. Prove me wrong if you want to, but we're probably not going to see each other again so it doesn't matter. Don't worry, I'll be polite to you. I don't want to start any drama in case you really are a bitch.
Bye,
Dei

Day 5-Your Dreams

My dreams. I dream of getting married, having children [no more than 2], living comfortably, and surrounding myself with my wonderful friends. I don't ask for much; the "living comfortably" part is the most part. But, I dream of having a house, not renting an apartment. I dream of having a flatter tummy and fuller boobs. I dream of having 2 cats and possibly a sugar glider and some fish. I dream of making breakfast in the morning and dinner at night for my family. I dream of falling asleep beside Shayne every night, curled up in our bed. Tucking our daughter in. Having her sleep with us when she has nightmares. Showing her every Disney fairytale and dressing her up like a princess. Teaching her about Avenged Sevenfold, Seether, and Disturbed. Letting her spend time with her amazing aunts, Chrissy and Alanna. Her being best friends with her aunt Ava. Taking our children to Sandusky when Shayne and I teach them about slug bug.
Unrealistically, I dream of traveling. I would love to go to England.
I dream of having a beautiful wedding with a BEAUTIFUL dress. I dream that my mamaw Kirk will be there.
I dream that Mamaw was here, getting to know Ava and loving her to death. That she was here to meet Shayne and tease me about him. Here to teach me how to cook and sew and take care of gardens. There when my kids are growing up, teaching them the things she taught me. I dream that I could spend a week with her, 2 maybe, like I'd promised to do but postponed. I'll never have that chance again.

Please come true,
Dei

Day 4-Your Siblings

Dear Ava,
You're so adorable. And smart. You're a little bit farther ahead mentally than you should be :) I'm so proud hunny! I love you so much. I see a bright future for you. You've enchanted everyone, I can see you really going far. I can't wait for you to grow up, dress you in cute little clothes, take you to the park, buy you stuff, and spoil you :) [But not too much!] I wish I could see you more, but your sister and your daddy don't get along too well most of the time. But I'll make an effort to see you more, I promise ♥ Love,
Your big sister, Desiree ♥

Dear Naomi,
I must admit, you've gotten better. I think it's because you've spent most of the summer at Dad's. I think you should move in there. I'm not just saying it to get rid of you, I'm saying I think it would be very helpful. I also think that you should lose some weight, it's getting to be very unhealthy. You should also work on your attitude. Just because you come home every so often, does not mean you are going to be treated like a fucking princess. You are NOT a princess. You are just like everyone else. You are NOT better than me, you are NOT cooler than me, I am NOT a fat ass, and STOP trying to copy off of me. I don't care if you "look up to me," <b>I</b> am me, NOT you.
Sincerely,
Desiree

Day 3- Your Parents

Dear Mum,
Throughout the years, our relationship has had it's ups and downs. But, I love you. I never say it, but I'm really grateful for all that you do for me. You really make me mad when you're being a bitch, but I love it when it's just us 2, shopping and hanging out. I really don't have much to say. It doesn't take a novel to say how I feel. 
Love,
Desiree


Dear Dad,
We…have a complicated relationship. I'm sorry, but I will never be able to forgive you for not being there enough when I was growing up. I can't forgive you for constantly yelling, bitching, spending all of our money, hitting us, sleeping all day, and just basically being a deadbeat. I wish I could, but I can't. You're trying to be a better person now, and you are, but you still have a lot of your moments. You always fight with Anne. You need to understand you're both stubborn people and you need to pick your fights. You favor Naomi, even if you deny it- it's your actions even if you don't realize it. I'm trying to forgive you, but the healing process is taking a while. I'm sorry.
Sincerely, 
Desiree


Dear Alberto,
I hated you with every fiber of my being when you and Mum started dating, but now you aren't too bad. You're too obsessed with "spending time with the family" though. I'm 16. I don't want to spend time with you guys, I want to go out with my friends or with my boyfriend. I don't think you have any right to complain about how much time I spend with Shayne since you monopolized Mum when you first started dating. The big difference is you kept Mum out all the fucking time and she had 2 kids to take care of that she was neglecting when Naomi was at her worst. I think you're to blame for some of Naomi's problems. I support you sending her to a camp to straighten her out or to live at her dad's though. Strongly support. 
Kthanxbai,
Desiree


Dear Anne, 
I used to think you were soooo cool, but then I got to know you. Don't get me wrong, you're still really cool, but now you're not like on the god-level XD I think you're a little uptight and you need to loosen up. Also, you're a little too over protective with Ava ^^" She is fragile, yes, but she'll be okay. Also, the same as dad, I think you should pick your battles. You're a little too emotional about everything. Dad's kinda clueless, you have to be patient with him. [I know I'm not one to talk about about that, but ] 
Uhmmmmm, I don't really know what to say….
That's for getting me those amazing gummy bears! I'm in love with them! Blue, light blue, and purple? FUCK YES!
Love, 
Miss D

Day 2- Your crush

Heh, crush. I think this is more than just a crush ♥


Dear Shayne,
Three words sum it up: I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love that you love me. I love your beautiful eyes, your soft lips, your voice whispering in my ear, tickling me. The only reason that I like Dethklok is because that's usually the only thing you will sing. I love it when we're alone, cuddling, my head on your arm, pulled close to you. Nothing sexual, just sweet. I love your heavy breathing, both of us drenched in sweat. I love that you always text me "Good morning beautiful" when you FINALLY wake up. I love that you go along with almost all my plans without question. No one else does that XD I love that we agree on so many things and compromise on what we don't agree on. I love that you're serious about me, that this relationship is long term. I love how I can never be mad/annoyed at you for long. [Although, I find the fact that you try to use "logic" to kill Emilie Autumn and like everything else I like pretty damn annoying >.>]
We've been together 7 months. Soon it will be 8, 9, a year, 2 years, 3 years, 40 years, 50 years. We have the rest of our lives together.
"Or love can survive anything, even gravity."
Love forever,
Dei
♥

Day 1- Your Best Friend

Chrissy, I love you. We have the kind of friendship everyone wishes they had. We're like a puzzle and we fit together so perfectly. We fight, yes, but we wouldn't be true if we didn't. I love mothering you, cooking you stuff, and giving you advice. However, I aint cookin for you for forever biotch D:< XD I kid, I know you can cook for yourself. You don't let me cook often at your house. Maybe it's because you know I might fuck up and catch the house on fire cause you have a stupid gas stove..... Anyways, I love you, and if I were to lose you, I really don't know what I'd do. I'd be so....lost D: But that's okay, you can't lose someone who lives next door to you :D
Love,
Dei



Dear Alanna,
I love you too. You're gonna be my neighbor someday too. Maybe. Idk if it will happen with us. You're headstrong and want your own things out of life. I'll be surprised if you settle in one place XD But, I would like you to be your neighbor. You promised to trade food with me at midnight D:
"You wanna help me find my nuts?!"
FYI, I'm watching Over The Hedge XD
Anyways, back to the letter.
You've made some stupid mistakes (ZACH.), but it's okay, cause you're still awesome :D
Just had to add that. Just so you know. Maybe I shouldn't have. Oh well, you never get on dA anymore anyway.
Love,
Dei


Dear Corey,
Sorry for putting your letter after Alanna's, but you're like my 3rd best friend D: But, you don't have a dA and you think it's stupid, so you'll never know ;)
I wanted to let you know, I don't usually get along with guys, at least not as close friends. But you're different. Maybe it's because you know how to sympathize and say what girls want to hear. We annoy each other, we argue, we laugh, you try to keep Shayne from pissing me off, we talk about relationship problems, we go places. We are brother and sister, even if you sometimes deny it, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Love,
Dei


Dear Laura,
We're not as close as we were, not by far. But at least recently we started talking more :D I love getting advice on my drawings from you, discussing our days, and you telling me about your crazy dogs ♥
Love,
Dei


Dear Kenny,
You're such a creeper! You stalker! You rapist! ....I love you. A lot. Will you marry me? Jk, Shayne would kill you :D Seriously though, we need to hang out. Like, it's a must! I miss you! It's been almost a month, and I miss my Kenny :(
But stop loving Chrissy more, or Imma off you.
Love, Dei


Dear Brandi,
I wouldn't know the amazing people that I know if it weren't for you. Well, at least not as well. Me and Alanna would've gotten over our shyness at SOME point..... But still. You introduced me to Alanna and Breanna who introduced me to Corey and Chrissy. Corey introduced me to Shayne. You are part of the reason I am loved so much ♥♥♥ I can't wait to go to your birthday party and see you! I just know it will be a lot of fun :D
Love,
Dei

Letter Challenge

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 - your best friend.


Day 2 - your crush.


Day 3 - your parents.


Day 4 - your sibling (or closest relative).


Day 5 - your dreams.


Day 6 - a stranger.


Day 7 - your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush.


Day 8 - your favorite internet friend.


Day 9 - someone you wish you could meet.

Day 10 - someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.


Day 11 - a deceased person you wish you could talk to.


Day 12 - the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.

Day 13 - someone you wish could forgive you.

Day 14 - someone you've drifted away from.

Day 15 - the person you miss the most.


Day 16 - someone that's not in your state/country.

Day 17 - someone from your childhood.


Day 18 - the person that you wish you could be.


Day 19 - someone that pesters your mind—good or bad.


Day 20 - the one that broke your heart the hardest.


Day 21 - someone you judged by their first impression.


Day 22 - someone you want to give a second chance to.

Day 23 - the last person you kissed.


Day 24 - the person that gave you your favorite memory.


Day 25 - the person you know that is going through the worst of times.


Day 26 - the last person you made a pinky promise to.


Day 27 - the friendliest person you knew for only one day.


Day 28 - someone that changed your life.


Day 29 - the person that you want to tell everything to, but are too afraid to.


Day 30 - your reflection in the mirror.

I should stalk Bre

Just sayin'. For half a week it'd be pretty easy. ;)

Dear Brandi,

I get on here every day. You haven't updated, you haven't commented. Are you still alive? Get off of facebook! XD ♥

Sincerely,
Dei

English Exam Essay

 This is what I wrote for the exam essay. It needs edited, but I'm pretty pleased with it.


            Pitch black with the darker splotches of trees. The same view from my bedroom window I’ve had all of my life. We don’t exactly live in the country, my father and I- we’re close enough to town- but we live far enough on the outskirts that no lights interrupt our night, except for the stars. But the stars aren’t out tonight, so there’s little light to illuminate the owls and mice creeping around the forest that’s just outside our back yard.

Sometimes I wonder to myself if there’s more out there than just those owls and mice. I wonder if there’s sprite, pixies, and nymphs, like in the books I love to read. Our forest would be ideal for them. No one really goes in it (it’s believed to be haunted) so there’s no disruption, no iron, and no one to tell their secret. When I was a little girl, I remember my mother telling me stories of faeries, how they liked to play and how they couldn’t lie. We’d dance around in a small clearing just inside the woods, my mother’s blonde, messy hair shining in the sunlight. But that was long ago and the stories were only fairytales. Of course, the forest was filled with owls and mice.

But just as I thought that, I saw a flash. Not like a flash of lightning, but the flash as something white moves in the darkness. Then, before I could blink properly, a face appeared in my window, its arms moving to take the same position I was in- one hand holding up my chin, the other arm on the window sill. While there were no stars, there was a moon, and it seemed all of its illumination was concentrated on illuminating that milky white face. The creature’s big, dark eyes stared into mine and I saw myself reflected in them. A perfect mask of surprise, my mouth was hanging slightly open and my eyes were wide. The faery smirked at me. How did I know exactly what he was, especially after telling myself that he was impossible?

“Why are you here?” I heard myself ask.

“Young Halfling, I’m here to protect you. There’s to be a war soon and both sides want every faery they can get. But they especially want you. The Faeries of the Light will no doubt want to control you or kill you and the Faeries of the Night will want to use you against the Light. But I come from the forest where we have no court and no part in the war. You are the deciding factor for the courts; the outcome of the war will be your doing. I’m asking you to protect us forest faey and come with me. They cannot harm you if they think you to be dead.”

“Why should I help you? I feel bad for you and all, but you must have the wrong person,” I told him. Normally I would’ve turned away after saying something like that, but I couldn’t just turn away in case he disappeared.

“Oh, but I have the right person. You are the daughter of Amira Autumn Liddel, are you not?” He smiled at me like I was a child.

“She is…was…my mother. She died many years ago. But what does being her daughter have to do with anything?” I asked him quietly. My mother’s death was still a sad subject.

“Young Halfling, it has to do with everything! You mother was a Faery of the Woods, like me, and your father is human. Our prophecies say that a child born of faery and human will be the one to bring about the destruction or creation of life as we know it.”

“I think you’re definitely confused. My mother, a faery?”

“Didn’t your father ever tell you?” He asked me, the excitement draining from his eyes.

“My father and I…We don’t really talk,” I began. “Ever since my mother died, he’s been so sad and removed. He works much of the day then goes off to his study in the evening. I never really see him. Her death really took a toll on him.”

“That fool,” the faery scoffed. “Did he not realize that he couldn’t hide it from you forever? He wants to keep you here to lead a human life. He knows a little of the prophecy, and he’s ignored it. Why do you think you live here? Your mother didn’t want to move far from her home, even though she couldn’t speak to us after she left us for your father. Why do you think you knew what I was? A faery knows other faeries. Even though you’re only a Halfling, your faery blood is still strong. One day, you could even live amongst us!”

I tried to politely accept what he was saying, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“I’ll be back tomorrow evening,” he promised. “Think about this, okay?”

I watched him sprint into the forest before falling into my bed. My mind was spinning and I couldn’t grasp any of my thoughts or emotions. I drifted off to sleep before I knew it, his words still repeating in my mind.

“A child born of faery and human will be the one to bring about the destruction or creation of life.”

Colossalcon!! ♥

Just got back from Colossalcon ♥
Damn, did I love it!
I met Vic Mignogna, [learned how to spell his last name o.o], saw some AMAZING cosplayers, got an ego boost for my cosplay ;D, spent 4 amazing days with my love, got many blisters since it seems all of the shoes I wore had heels o.o, and bought some amazing shit :D

I don't care if anyone disagrees, Vic Mignogna is the nicest voice actor ever. He's such a sweetie and so fan-friendly! He's got a great since of humor and he pwns all when it comes to his voice. Oh, and he has soft arms XD

Oh, but I'm getting ahead of myself with pictures

We really didn't take any pictures. My camera's broken, Lewis didn't feel like taking too many, and Shayne absolutely refused to take pictures with his mother's camera. Only 1 picture was not forced by me >.>

Lewis and a Ryuk cosplayer

Lewis met this Ryuk right before the rave Friday night. Ryuk is his favorite Death Note character and therefore he was fanboying XD

Friday I was dressed as Misa and Lewis and Shayne didn't dress up. We went to everything. We even spent a good amount of time in the video game room [something I usually don't go to]. We left to shop for food at walmart and bought a rice cooker to cook noodles in. Our hotel had absolutely no appliances D: The rice cooker was cheap and just big enough for 2 packs of ramen at a time XD Just practicin' for college ;D Lewis had the damndest time trying to get wine coolers. He wanted to go to the hotel, drink one, then be fine by the time it was time to go to the rave. But, we were with him, so the lady wouldn't sell him it. She was a bitch about it though, otherwise I'd be all "eh, his problem" D: So, after the rave, at like 1:30ish (we left really early), he went back and left us at the hotel [they're right next to each other]. Apparently, you can't buy alcohol after 1am XD So, the next day we sent him in after dinner for monster and we waited in the car and he came back victorious and had 1 as soon as we got back to the hotel then we went swimming. Never fear, children, your dear Dei is clean. So is Shayne. Plus it was like 3% alcohol, so Lewis didn't drown XD
Then we went to the ball. Oh goodness, night made. ♥ Homecoming needs to have music like they did. They had slow songs, swing songs, and songs from movies and shows. They had an instrumental Hare Hare Yukai that was fun to twirl to XD Chrissy and I felt epic during Once Upon A December as we're pretending to ballroom dance [who the fuck knows how to do that nowadays D:] and everyone around us was almost in sync. Pretty bad ass :D
Oh, the rave. I danced with Shayne on Friday for like an hour, but damn me, him, and Chrissy danced forever together. Hell, we even danced on the floor table. When the 3 of us are together, I am invincible ☺And our glowsticks were insane. It looked like we robbed a store when we all pulled out our glowsticks [us plus her sister, brother-in-law, and Lewis]

Oh, my face in that picture. Louie's flash was VERY bright in that dark, dark room.


Saturday, we really hit the dealer's room. I got a keychain with Blair's soul and pumpkins on it :) [I was cosplaying as Blair that day, so it really worked :D] I also got a Vampire Knight poster and a Soul Eater poster. We went to a FMA symbolism panel, which really has me seeing FMA in a much deeper way. Me and Shayne skipped out of the Doctor Who panel and left Lewis there. I went to the bathroom and had every girl in there like "BLAIRRRRRRRRRRRR" ♥ I was the ONLY one there, which was surprising. My keychain is the only thing I saw besides her hat for merch for her D:<
Btw, SO. WANT. THESE. SHIRTS. They're just plain black, but one says "Meister" in white [that would be mine] and the other says "Weapon" in yellow [that would be Shayne's]. But damn, $20 a shirt. Then you sell out of his size? RAWRRRRRRRRRR.
Anyways, back to Saturday.
After everything and swimming and stuff, we went to the ball, then the rave, then back to the hotel, then CRASHED. I think we got back at like 3-3:30ish.

Sunday, we went to the flea market. We didn't get there at 10 like I wanted, we got there closer to noon, but it's okay. I got a whole bunch of shit! I got
-A shirt with the kanji for "stealth" or "ninja"
-A sound village headband
-A bright green studded wristband
-A heart neck choke
-An anarchy wristband
-Skull earrings
-A Renji keychain. He's holding a heart and in some sort of a dress. WTF O.O
-A Vampire Knight poster
-A Victoria Frances poster
- Ninja shoes
-A Sailor Moon clock

I feel as if I'm forgetting some of the things I got o.o If I am, I'll just have to come back and add them in

LAST. DAY. OF. SCHOOL.

It's creepy, Brandi's watching me o.o


I leave for con today. I rushed around last night trying to get last minute things ready, but it wasn't enough. I still have stuff to pack, and my cousin will be here before I even get home. I've been stressing out over con so bad lately :/ It'll be a relief to get to the hotel and just lay down.
At least I get to visit Ava before I go ♥


I just finished the english exam, which was BRUTAL. 50 points for something that will take you like 6 sentences to write?! WTF!!!! And the vocab, what was he thinking? I only knew probably half, and I studied as much as I could, since the vocab study site wasn't on the class website >.< I really, really hate this class, and I'm so glad that this is the last day I'm in here. I NEVER want a teacher like that again.
Oh, and the questions for my book: Wth. Like "Who could she not trust?" Well, hello, she trusted all of those people, who do you want me to put?
But, I will admit, I liked the essay question. I know I won't get full points, because my teacher's like that, but I actually like what I wrote. I think it could go somewhere, if I changed things. :)


My goodness, I'm going to miss so many people this summer. There's only so many people I can hang out with D: Also, Erika's moving and Corey and Kenny may not be coming here next year :( :( :(
Corey and Kenny are my bestestestest guy friends!!!
And Kenny buys me stuff ;) LOVE YOU KENNY! :D


You better believe I'm sleeping in tomorrow.

/Fin.

Why is religion such a big deal?

Yesterday on facebook, a girl that I had known since 4/5 grade was posting statuses related to her religion (Christianity) like "Like this if you believe in God!" and "Like this if you DON'T believe in God." I commented on the 2nd, asking if she was talking about the Christian God or any god at all? Someone else commented that (of course) she was talking about the "Judaic Christian God," so, in response, I clicked like, and definitely offended a bunch of people. She then proceeded to interrogate me! She asked me nicely at first like she was actually curious like why I did not believe in God, but then it turned kind of brutal after I said I was Wiccan. I started getting questions like "Would you ever convert?" and responses to my responses like "I have a relationship with my God." I can understand it, and it doesn't sound to bad on here, but she was asking like she looked down on me and did not accept that I believe in her God. She seemed incredulous that I was happier now than I had ever been when I was "Christian." Her words were offensive, and she knew it.
I don't see why people judge people on their religion. If I'm a nice person to you, what does it matter if I'm Wiccan? There are plenty of Christian murderers; Would you accept them over me? If your religion teaches you to "love thy neighbor," how could you hate someone?
The Westboro Baptist Church. Does anyone know who I'm talking about? The people in that chuch claim to be Christian, but they HATE homosexuals, Jews, soldiers, and Australians. There's probably more to that list too. How can you be Christian and hate someone? How can you be Christian and claim God hates JEWS. Wasn't Jesus a Jew? And they claim God hates Easter. Isn't Easter a CHRISTIAN holiday?
I just don't get it.
Accept people for who they are, not who they believe in.

Turtles and Elephants

I have a new blog
It's a blog for reflecting on my relationship, the good and the bad, and everything else in between.
It is a private blog, so if anyone wants the link, leave a comment

Sophomore year

Nooooooooooo! Don't show those videos D: D: D:
*embarrassment*

So, I just finished my animation. It's stupid -.-


Now, onto my blog.

Sophomore year. Not quite as eventful as freshman year. 'Twas much better :D

One of my best friends was admitted long-term to a mental hospital, I fell in love, I kind of got over my stage fright, I've expanded my cosplay and art, learned to [mostly] balance my emotions, let go of too many friends in Grove City without meaning to, and lost a friend to suicide.

All in all, not too bad of a year, in fact it would have been very good if not for the last part.
RIP Kelsey. I don't believe in Heaven, but other people do, so if it's real, I know you're there ♥

R.I.P. Kelsey Inglish

Yesterday, one of the coolest people I ever met committed suicide. I haven't seen her since middle school, and now I'm greatly regretting that. I hate that she was so depressed, felt so worthless, that she felt that death was the only way out. I've known several people who have hit that low, myself included, but there was always someone to talk us out of it. I can't help but think if maybe her best friends had paid just a bit closer attention, she'd still be here. Of course, no one is to blame. But let it be an eye opener. If your friend is thinking about suicide, TELL SOMEONE. I nearly lost one of my best friends toward the beginning of the school year, and it seemed that we couldn't stop her because talking to the school counselor hadn't done anything, but she was stopped because one of our friends told the right person. She spent many months in a mental institution, but she's safe. She's out now, and she has no need to feel like she did.


R.I.P Kelsey
You are missed

Baby Fever

With someone as cute as this, how could you not want one of your own?
Not for many years though.... ;)

All of the pictures except the last one are Ava at 3 months. The last one is Ava at roughly 2 months.


♥♥♥

Pets! :D

I want a sugar glider so bad.

I also wouldn't mind a rat

And OF COURSE I'll have a cat. Or two.

I'll just have to make sure she (or he) doesn't eat my rats O.O

Break Stuff

It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up
Everything is ****ed
Everybody sucks
You don't really know why, but you wanna justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact, your life is contract
Your best bet is to stay away, mother****er
It's just one of those days


Funny, they say speak your mind, be who you are. Does anyone actually mean that? One toe out of line, you're not who we thought you were. You know, it's kind of hard trying to work everyday to be the same. The same personality as the day before, the same amount of happiness, the same outlook on life.

Btw, blogger=my place to rant


Heh, I don't even like Limp Biskit anymore.

/Fin.

Rawr

I wish people would write more. I get on my blogger every couple days and no one ever updates. Brandi usually does, but it's been a week since her last post. I also wish people would comment on my blogs that I put a lot of thought into. If my blog is forever long, I would LOVE to have someone comment it. Plus, forever long posts on my blog really aren't that long, they're just in an über skinny column, making them seem longer than they are. They are also as interesting as I can make them without wandering too far away from my subject and give you more insight to me as a person than these short, stupid blogs do.



So, it angers me that thtehungergamesmovie.org is blocked on these school computers. I really want to view the page! I really, really want to know who the 50 actresses who tried out to be Katniss are D:

Life is tiresome

School is rather tiresome. Get up at 6:30, attempt to stay awake, get dressed, walk to school, sit through classes, try to stay awake, starve until near the end of the day, fight to stay awake, go home, cook, deal with Naomi's yelling, decide between homework and sleep, go to bed, do it all again. I guess you could say everyday life is tiresome. Buttt, I'm spending the night at Chrissy's this weekend with Laney and we're gonna go to the zoo :D

Plague Rats

For the past 3 days I've been listening to songs by Emilie Autumn almost exclusively. I've listened to maybe 3 songs by Nightwish, but that's about it.
Emilie Autumn is a singer-songwriter, poet, and violinist [and also plays a variety of other instruments, she's just best known for her violin] who has a wide range of musical styles, but is usually classified as Neo-Victorian and Industrial Gothic. However, she labels her style as Victorianindustrial.
If you like darker songs, I suggest Opheliac, I know Where You Sleep, 4 O'clock, or Liar (Manic Depressive Mix) ft. ASP. However, if you like happier, yet sarcastic songs, go with Marry Me, Thank God I'm Pretty, or Miss Lucy Had Some Leaches. If you prefer lyrics that have to do with fairytales or old stories in general, really anything off of "Enchant" is for you. I like Rose Red, Rapunzel, and Castle Down. And last but not least, "Your Sugar Sits Untouched" is an album full of poetry with background music.
Fun facts:

• The instrumental piece Organ Grinder was used in Saw III
• EA did a violin piece for Dethklok's Dethharmonic
• EA also did covers for Bohemian Rhapsody and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
• EA's fans are labeled Plague Rats, but she calls them "muffins" as well
• Her real name is Emilie Autumn Liddell [Does anyone else get the Alice in Wonderland reference? :D] Yes, she's actually related to the girl that the book was based off of
• She classifies herself as asexual
• I find her to be one of the most beautiful women ever ♥

The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys were named after the boys in Peter Pan, but there really isn't much of a similarity between them. In Peter Pan, the boys didn't want to grow up. These boys were forced to grow up much too fast, otherwise die from various things, inculding starvation, gunpoint, or animal attacks. And all most of the world did was stand by and watch, at least at first. Sure the boys got help, but only after thousands of them died. But, I guess that's how it always is. Who cared about the Jews, the Tootsis, or the African farmers in Darfur? Countries, especially the U.S., like to look like they're doing so much to help in every world problem, but really, not much gets done. People die, people in other countries are horrified and donate money to the Red Cross, and still more people die. In Sudan, those boys were forced to walk hundreds of miles, battle wild animals like crocodiles, and run from the shots being fired at them. They were starving, tired, and homesick. They boys were just children. Countries "helped," but still they ran from country to country, fighting for their lives.
Governments makes me sick.

Warm weather, get here fast!

This week is OGT week, and personally, I don't mind it much. Sure, I'd MUCH rather be home sleeping rather than taking a test like all the little freshmen, but it's not too bad. Plus I LOVE the class lengths :D
Although, it makes my lunch later, and I'm hungry NOWWW D:


Kenny, Alanna, will you marry me? ♥




Does anyone know a cheap, quick, and hopefully easy way to remove dark dye from hair? To remove the black from my hair it would probably take a few bleachings, and I don't think my hair can handle that. I read on wikihow that there's a product called Color Oops that will strip the black [or any other dark dye] from my hair, turning it an almost orange color. It's $13 a bottle, and with my hair I would need 2 bottles. I doubt Mum will buy it for me. The other product, called Color Zap, strips away dark dye and returns your hair to it's natural color. That one's $10, not much cheaper than the first, but it would still require me to bleach my hair afterward [although I may have to bleach it after the first one anyway]
Anyone wanna donate to the "Fix Dei's Hair" fund? Lol

 Edit: I plan on buying some Manic Panic Flashlightning after seeing how well the Splat bleach worked on Chris' hair. Wish me luck!

Books

Since everyone else is writing about books, why shouldn't I? :)

Alice in the Country of Hearts

This is, by far, my favorite manga. Yes, it is shojo [directed at girls], but I know some guys who like it. Recently, I finally got the 2nd volume to complete my series [thus far], and got my boyfriend, Shayne to read it and he can't put it down. :D
Alice in the Country of Hearts is based off a Japanese 'adventure' game called Heart no Kuni no Alice and is a remake of Alice in Wonderland. In this story, Alice is kidnapped by Peter White [the White Rabbit] and taken to the land of Heart and forced to drink a potion that traps her there. Shortly after, Peter leaves her there and she meets Julius Monrey, the clock fixer, and he explains the rules of the game in which she's now a part of, one of which being that she cannot leave until her empty potion vial is filled. The way to fill the vial is to interact with the people in that world. In an attempt to get home, she follows the rules and meets some very interesting people including Blood Dupre, the leader of the mafia known as the Hatters, Boris Airay, a punk Cheshire Cat, Vivaldi, the tempermental queen of Heart with a soft spot for cute things, Ace, the knight with a terrible sense of direction and wish to be something that he is not, and Nightmare, a sickly dream incubus who allowed Peter to bring her to Heart.
So far there are 5 volumes and the 6th's release has yet to be announced.




Borders- IS CLOSING.
Everything is on sale, from books to CDs to posters! I suggest you go there soon :D
I went there Friday and got the 2nd volume to Alice, The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice, a True Blood poster, and got Shayne a Halo ODST poster. The True Blood poster is  now proudly hanging close to my light switch, scaring my sister in the middle of the night :) She complained about my DaVinci Code poster before I got the True Blood one :) [Personally I think the Alice in Wonderland one is creepiest cause it's the Mad Hatter, but oh well]

OMG CAKE

Om nom nom nom nom

We should have cake every day. Then again, we'd be fat if we did. WE SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT DURING 2ND PERIOD EVERY DAY. :D

I really don't mind celebrating National Grammar Day if it means getting cake :)


Buuuuuuttttttt, you know what's awesomer than cake? CHRISSY. And I'm going to her house tonight for some crazy shenanigans of doom :D We'll also be celebrating Chad's (our brother) birthday. I didn't know his birthday was coming up o.o Lol Chrissy's gonna be jealous of my cake. And be happy that I'm actually eating cake. For the past 2-3 years, I haven't liked cake. I still don't know if I like cake. Oh well.



Advertising goes here

http://xdeidannax.deviantart.com/
http://restinpeacies.deviantart.com/
http://tobi0crazy.deviantart.com/
http://kiruthefirestarter.deviantart.com/
http://demonwolfofshadows.deviantart.com/
http://gunslinger-of-hearts.deviantart.com/

Egypt

Topic of the week: Egypt
Not a topic I have much to write on. Yes, I know there's a "crisis" going on over there that has to do with protests and government and blah blah blah, but to be honest, I haven't followed ANYTHING on it, because frankly, I don't care. When it comes to Egypt, I'm only interested in the history; The gods and goddesses, the art, the mummies, the pyramids, not today's politics. Every country has a revolution, so why is everyone freaking out? You can't get anything accomplished without a bit of violence.

Valentine's Day

Today I've nothing to write about, and cannot think of a topic with the invasion of Good Girls Go Bad in my head.


Valentine's Day is coming up. I have no clue what to do. I've never actually had a valentine before .-. It's like "do we go here? Do we go there? Can we get a ride? Do we have the money? How about we go there?" and I don't even care what we do. We could get tacos, go to his house, and hang out with Christ, and I'd be fine. (Although, I'd prefer a milkshake ^-^) (Ugh, food cravings D:)
Also, what do you get a guy? Chocolate is a good choice, but just the candy or one of those stupid lil heart things? Some kid in my algebra class said he'd want the heart shaped box of chocolates and a giant teddy bear, but as his girlfriend said, not every guy is him. XD
Oh great, now I want some of those conversation heart candy things. The ORIGINAL ones [The ones that taste like Neccos]. I'm not happy about the new(er) ones that have flavors and stuff >.< Every year I look forward to eating the hell out of those, and last year Mum and I got a giant bag to find out they had flavors. They were good, for a bit, but eating too many were terrible and once they went stale I wouldn't touch them.


On another note: I WANNA RAVE!!!!!! D:<


P.S. I think everyone should update their blogs more and be interesting because I get bored and like to read stuff :)

NOM NOM NOM

My sister is beautiful ♥

Ava Marie Dillon ♥

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
-Helen Keller

"We are all born for love... it is the principle existence and it's only end."

-Benjamin Disraeli

Mirrors

I've realized, perhaps a long time ago if not just recently, I enjoy keeping a blog. My deviantART was becoming overflooded with meaningless posts on my thoughts. Now, I can keep my ramblings here and leave my dA with what it should be: my ART.

Since we do not have a topic today, I'll use one of the prompts from a 30-day writing challenge. Who knows, perhaps I may even use all 30. (I doubt it.)

Day 1: What you see in the mirror
[Of course it is not actually day 1 in the prompt :)]

I look in the mirror many times a day; To fix my makeup, to brush my hair, to make sure any bruises are covered, but I never see myself. Some days I see a girl who is pretty, but tries to hard to be so, and other days I see a girl that badly needs makeup and something done with her hair. Those girls are never me. I really stopped trying to be, well, anything a while ago, so how is this try-too-hard pretty girl me? But, at the same time, the way I view myself looks better than the girl with the pink-purple under her eyes, looking like bruises, her hair wavy and fluffy and definitely needing tied back or something. But if these people aren't me, who are they? And who am I? Am I the flash of the eye, the eyes that are ever changing their color, or am I hidden in there, somewhere, out of my sight?
Why is it so much easier to write when you disconnect yourself? Aren't we, as normal human beings, supposed to know more about ourselves than anyone else does?
If my soul had a reflection, what would it be?

Music~♥

Well, this blog assignment has pretty good timing :)
ON FRIDAY I WILL BE GOING TO AN AVENGED SEVENFOLD CONCERT :D
Also, Stonesour, Hollywood Undead, and New Medicine will be there, but I'm going for A7X. Stonesour and Hollywood Undead are just a bonus :)

If you can't tell, Avenged Sevenfold is my favorite band. If you were to look on my iPod, they probably take up a good portion of the memory. Their music is amazing. I even love their newest album, Nightmare, even though it sounds pretty different than their previous albums.

I have other favorite bands, but A7X is my #1. My other favorite bands are

Evanescence

Seether

Emilie Autumn

Skillet

Disturbed

There are many bands that I like, even though they may not be my favorites. They are as follows and not limited to: Basshunter, Kill Hannah, Atreyu, Aiden, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance [except for their new album!], Escape the Fate, KoRn, Akira Yamaoka, Cobra Starship, Shinedown, Owl City, KYO, Secondhand Serenade, Mindless Self Indulgence, Hinder, Oomph!, Mayday Parade, Shiny Toy Guns, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil, t.A.T.u., [some] Good Charlotte, Breaking Banjamin, Kerli, Amanda Palmer, The Dresden Dolls, Boys Like Girls, The All-American Rejects, 3OH!3, Slipknot, Dethklok, Three Days Grace, Within Temptation, Panic! At The Disco, Fall Out Boy, Papa Roach, Lady Antebellum