Ramblings

Last night I had a dream. Not the weirdest I've had, but odd all the same, and strangely vivid. A mother abandoned her baby daughter and left her to me, and whether I wanted to or not, I had to take care of her. I went to the store with a few of my family members [my dad, my mamaw, possibly one of my aunts] and bought necessities: Bottle, formula, bib, binkies, blanket, and somehow magically ended up with a carrier. I took her to a family thing at what I think was my mamaw's church where the same people who had shopped with me tried to take her to be their own. My dad told me to look for Ava, but she was taken by my family as well, and so he went off to find her. But at that point, I didn't care for Ava, not in the slightest. I fought for my baby, taking the carrier from my mamaw who had left it sitting by her feet, neglecting her and unzipped it to reveal my sweaty, hungry baby. I fed her her bottle, gave her her binky, and rocked her to sleep in my arms, the overwhelming feeling of love blurring my mind.
I awoke feeling empty without her, haunted all day from how strongly I felt. I've never seen faces in my dreams before. I've known they were there, but I've never seen them. However, I saw hers. I saw her scrunched up brown eyes, her wailing open mouth, her thin black hair, and her tan skin....
Now that I think about it, maybe with some alterations, she could've been mexican. Funny, I'm having baby dreams for the wrong parent.

Ava will be here in 12 days. Not many days, but such a long wait.
I wonder if I'll sleep more soundly once she's here.
♥